This Is It

Why aren’t we living our dreams?
Why aren’t we walking our power?
Why aren’t we working our faith?

This question comes up for me almost every day. In the midst of attempting to find an answer, this passage written by Marianne Williamson often comes to mind:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Recently, when I see what my friends and peers are accomplishing, I become jealous. Not jealous of their success … but jealous for their ambition, because I know if I were half as ambitious as they are I too could achieve great things. I have the ideas the plans, the blueprint, I have vision, but no action. I have pages and pages full of intentions, inventions, businesses, services, and art … tucked away, nicely and neatly hidden from the world. Many times I feel like I have access to warehouse full of building material, yet remain homeless because I haven’t put the pieces together to build my dream home. As in the passage above, I have been afraid of my own light. Knowing that such greatness lies within me, and ACTING on it, means I accept the responsibility that comes along with it. Up until this point I haven’t been ready for it, which is why it has taken me almost six years to get fed up with myself enough to do something about it. I’m done hiding my greatness folks, and you should be too.

This is it, ya’ll. Forreal.

Queen School

I've been sharing my story with a few people ... About my decision to be intentionally single until God tells me different. No dating. No dinner. No movies. No late night phone calls. No texting after hours. I've deleted and blocked a few numbers from my phone. Not because "I'm done with men!", or the falsified idea that there is a "lack of eligible bachelors". I'm single because of growing up and maturity that needs to happen on MY END. I know that if someone walks into my life I want to be an ASSET to them, not a deficiency.

So right now I'm in what I like to think of as "Queen School". I am educating myself on what a Queen is - what she looks like, how she dresses, how she behaves, how she treats her husband and her family, how she raises her kids, how she handles her finances, all while maintaining her health, beauty and sanity. I'm PRUNING AND PREENING in order to mold myself into the QUEEN that a KING would be honored to have at his side. Sure, being single sucks ... But so does a pointless relationship. Yeah, I said it.

Some people think this is a bold choice. A bold decision. But the truth is, I know what I want and I know who I need to be and sacrifices have been made. Singleness is a time of reflection, self-discovery, empowerment and most importantly, healing. A time to really get to know yourself and LOVE YOURSELF. 

#QueenSchool #PruningAndPreening

*Please note that I said PRUNING ... Which means to remove the dead, useless, stuff. PREENING ... Cleaning, making attractive. MOLDING ... give shape to. THE QUEEN IS ALREADY IN ME, she just has to be revealed. She must be uncovered. She must be unhidden. I'm not adding anything to myself, queenship is innate within me. She is just waiting to be activated!

Blank Canvas.

As you all know, (or may not know) I've had a blog since 2009. You can find it by clicking here. But, I need to start fresh. I need a blank canvas. When you have something old and try to force the new upon it, the old begins to burst underneath the pressure of the new or the new seems to be tainted by the old. So I decided ... why not start anew. So here's to new beginnings. A new blog, with new ideas, and a new perspective on being a young woman in her mid-20s navigating through life. Enjoy.